Vim and Vigor

My first

This blog has laid dormant for quite a while now. No new words. No new pictures. (Oh, I've been taking quite a few of those, believe me!) 

God basically laid it on my heart, that He wanted me to take a break from posting for a while. And, I took that break. 

But, today is a new day. A day for a new blog post, and breathing some new life into the stillness of these pages.

What's on my heart?

This girl.

 Pictured: The graduate and I

She's graduating....she's 18.....and there's just no stopping her now. As a mom, do you ever feel torn between wanting to stop time, but yet feel so excited for their future at the same time? I feel this way most days. 

Emotional at times, and joyful and excited at others.

Her graduation banquet was last Saturday evening. A room at the church was decorated so beautifully, and they made it feel very intimate and small, even though the room was large. There were vines and branches on the tables, with candles lit nearby. 

I had found out a couple of days before, that the parents may be asked to say something about their graduate. Umm.....can I skip that part? That was all I could think. And, then I thought...do we have to go up front? How long do we have? Thirty seconds? Five minutes? What if I start talking and just ramble on and on?

My eldest had put together a beautiful display for "her table" on which she placed an old window frame, and hung her name cut out of vintage toned scrapbook paper, and some of the pictures that are dearest to her. And, I put together a photo book of 200+ pages in record time that afternoon!

But, the really good stuff wasn't the display, or the decorations. It was the words. 

The words spoken by the man who spoke and gave the challenge to them....and the words from parents to teens...and vice versa.

Although I was terribly nervous, I knew I wanted to say something about her to everyone. Although, I was afraid I would bawl all the way through I took the microphone with a shaky hand, and a quivering voice. 

I looked around and said that although I wasn't an eloquent speaker, I needed to publicly say how much I loved my daughter. And, how motherhood surprised me. I knew that after giving birth to her, that she was obviously a girl.....but, what really surprised me was how this girl has become one of my best friends. Our relationship is NOT a fairy tale, but it is one of mutual love, respect and one of many laughs. (Which often times includes food or drink spewing from our mouths, from trying to hold it in!)

Also, as a homeschooling mom especially, I thought that I had so very much to teach her. About life. About love. About everything I knew.

And yet, she really has taught me so much more than she will ever realize. Or, at least until she has her own children. She has helped me to grow in character....oh, has parenting kept me on my knees more than anything ever could have.

I've seen the worst character traits I have, staring at me in the face when they come out in my child! And, if that doesn't make you want to become the best example you can, I do not know what will. She has taught me about grace, she has shown me that love doesn't always look like we expect it to.....and that's okay.

I've heard it said, that when they are eighteen, the work is done. You've done your job. Oh, how untrue that is! I want to be available to listen and to especially encourage. I still need that, and I'm going to be forty years old in a few years! 

I am so thankful and grateful for the years we've had in this mother-daughter duo, and I cannot wait to see what else the Lord has in store for her on this wonderful journey called life.

The power of mama's words....

 

As I was unloading the groceries yesterday, I was thinking about my little girl, who has just turned four.  She LOVES to talk.  And, when I mean talk....I mean, well...ALL the time.  Incessantly, is a word that comes to mind.  Words are the way she expresses herself, and this she does very well.  The bigger the words she uses, the more grown-up she feels.  Her newest word is "important", which of course, is used in every sentence that comes from her mouth.

As the groceries were taken out of their bags, and placed into the cupboards, my mind wandered back to our time at the store.  Miss Lady K, my four year old, had been there with me.  Now, I will admit that she is a very cute little girl.  She has large blue eyes inherited from her grandma, and light blonde hair.  She is a beautiful little girl.  And, people tell her so.  I don't know how many people tell her she is "so cute!", when we are out and about.  Or, they may comment on the outfit she's wearing as well.

Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for the kind words spoken.  However, I thought how often as a mom, I compliment her as well, on physical attributes alone.  Words that feed the flesh, and help her to focus on the outside, not the inside. 

The whole world screams at us about the way we look, and the way we are dressed.  Magazine covers, television ads, "compliments" from strangers, just to name a few. 

I long for my children, and my three daughters especially, to long for things that are eternal.  For that to be their focus.  To be enamored with the One who made them, loves them more than I ever could, and gives their lives purpose. 

My words can have a huge effect on their outlook.  As a homeschooling mama, I am around my children most of the hours in a given day. We talk, and talk, and talk with each other.  For this, I am so very thankful.  However, I pray for the words from my mouth to be focused on what I see God doing in their lives. 

For instance, yesterday, after my daughter pushed someone down at our homeschool co-op (without me seeing)...she later came to me, and told me what she had done.  I did thank her for telling me the truth.  Even better, I could have said,  "I see how God was working in your spirit to tell the truth.  God stands for the truth, and so do you.  God is at work in your heart!"  What a wonderful thought for a little one to know that a living God is working in them!

I have been trying to catch my children in acts of servant hood, telling the truth, putting someone else before them, and other kind or thoughtful acts.  I try very hard to share with them how I see God working in their lives, and say how proud me, daddy and God are of them. 

Let's build our children up to be all God has called of them!

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.

Proverbs 18:21

p.s.  Thank you, Heather, for putting this forefront in my mind....you have helped my family by sharing what God laid on your heart.

Finding balance

 

{ Miss Lady K, 3 y.o., enjoying some down time}

   Our lives as homeschooling mamas can be quite full.  In fact, they can very easily become too full.  When the world seems to be running and running, we may feel that we should be doing this as well. 

There was a time when we had an event each night of some sort to attend to.  It might be sports on Monday and Tuesday, church on Wednesday evening, Shopping Thursday, and then a night out to dinner on Friday evening.  Now, don't forget games and tournaments on Saturday, and I hoped they were both in the same place! 

One night my weary husband looked at me and said, "Do we really need to be going somewhere every night?  My poor husband!  When we had decided to enroll the children in their activities, we hadn't really thought it through. Many times we were home during the day, and had events in the evening.  We had been home during the day, but my husband had been working all those hours.  He would come home, just to eat supper and have to leave again.  The poor man never had any down time at all. 

We did finish out the season, not wanting to back out of comittments; however, we now are much more careful about saying "yes" to things.

How do we go about this?

1. Prayerfully!  We take time to put our schedule before the Lord.  And, then listen! 'Nuff said.

2.  Communicate with your husband.  Tell him what you're thinking and feeling.  He may have some insight, that you haven't thought of.  As the leader of the home, I believe that God will show him things he may not reveal to us.  However,some husbands won't share unless they are asked.  Too many times in our early marriage I would get emotional when he gave opinions on things.  I've learned to listen to his advice without emotion. (At least most of the time!) God gave my husband to me, and his opinion is very important to me.  I want him to be able to talk to me without fear of tears, anger or me having a "pity party", if I don't like what he had to say. 

3.  Be aware of the "red flags", that have a way of showing up when we are too busy.  Even if we have prayerfully come to a schedule, and discussed it with our husbands, we can end up over our heads at times.  I have noticed some "red flags" in my life, and I have a feeling I'm not alone in this: finding myself very stressed throughout my day; raising my voice at the children much more frequently and unnecesarrily; not having the time to make homemade meals, and finding us spending alot more money on food away from home; my children's behavior worsens as I have less time for relaxing and truly enjoying them; our savings account seemed to be at a consistently lower number every month, due to spending from being out of the house much more.

I encourage you to not let your familes' schedule control you or your finances, and embrace a life of peace, joy and balance!

Blessings,

Joy~

 

:: Weekending....finding joy in a small rural festivals that we have had the priviledge of attending for years.  And, not taking a bit of this for granted. Reminiscing with my husband.  "Remember when the girls (now 14 and 15) came here and wove baskets, did the tin punching, and so forth?"  "Remember when Cowboy S was 2 and a photographer had such fun taking pictures of him?"  And, my hubby would reply, "Oh, yes."  "Honey, remember how you  went walking on the low stilts when you were  pregnant with Miss Lady K? "

Now, we have a new little man, that will soon look forward with us, to all the memories made in places like this.

Hope your weekend was wonderful......

Joy~

Catch a falling star

 

As we arrived upon the beach later in the evening, there was quite a group of us.  Six adults and sixteen children, to be exact.  We had been on our way to a marina, but had been too late and it was closed.  Instead of returning back to our campground where we have been enjoying a week together, we turned a corner and found a beautiful beach with a pier leading to a lighthouse. 

It was near dusk when we arrived.  Sixteen children ranging in age from 8 months to 16 years.  Sixteen pairs of legs all declaring freedom of movement in their own ways.  Some doing  backward flips in the air, and astounding the rest of us.  Some younger ones copying the moves of older siblings and friends.  Placing their heads directly into the sand to attempt a somersault, as parents watch, smile and shake their heads.  They know how much work it is to remove the sand from those heads!  Most of the children, including some of mine, are balancing along the concrete ridge that follows along the entrance into the beach, and along the sand. 

Jumping as high as they can.

Seeing who can go the farthest.

We go along at whatever pace feels fitting. No rush.  No certain bedtime this evening.  And as a child, aren't those the best kind of nights?  Full of friends, warm breezes, and late bedtimes.

As we come closer to the pier, my nerves seemed to well up inside of me.  It looked very narrow.  My mind seemed to have many fears.  Would all these children be safe on there?

No railing.

Lake Michigan.

The sun was quickly sinking.

My nerves had an effect on my six year old as well.  As we approached the pier, he said, "Mama, I don't want to go on there!"  "Okay, honey, I'll stay with you," I said.  I told my husband we would be staying back.  He tried to convince us to come, yet saw the fear in my eyes and went on with the rest of our crew and the other families. 

As the other families walked on well in front of us, my son and I suddenly felt a bit alone.  We both wanted to go on the pier, yet were fearful.  I said a silent prayer.  I told my son that I had said a prayer for God to help us be brave. 

He looked at me with a bit of fear still in his eyes.

I reached out my hand to him, and he held his in mine.

He is still so young, and yet growing up so fast, this eldest boy of mine.

We tentatively walked together along the pier.  The sun was mostly gone now, with only a few spots of orange-red glow on the horizon.  The stars had come out, and the breeze had calmed.  It was a beautiful evening to be in God's creation.

Someone well ahead of us shouted, "Look, it's a falling star!"  As my son and I looked up, there it was.  A falling star.  As we gazed together into the heavens, he said, "Woah, I can't believe I see a falling star."

I couldn't help it.  I started to softly sing the words to a song.  "Catch a falling star and put in your pocket, never let it fade away.  Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, save it for a rainy day." 

I sang it a couple of times, and then my son joined in.  We sang it softly as we walked along, holding hands and sealing the memory into our minds. If we had let fear hold us back, we would have missed that precious moment.

We have been home now from camping now for a few days.  Our schedule is returning to our "normal".  My son was on the floor playing with his trucks yesterday afternoon.  As I walked by him, busily focused on putting the baby down for a nap, my son looked up at me.

He smiled and sang, "Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, never let it fade away." Memories of that night, I hope will stay with him always.  Memories of a loving family, joy in friendship, answered prayer, and late bedtimes.

And if you're so inclined to hear the song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U08iKG4tfFE

Blessings,

Joy~

 

a summer afternoon

 

 

 

"Summer afternoon - summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language."

-  Henry James

 

 

 

 

Never, never, never give up.  --Winston Churchill

Spend less :: Trade more

A heat wave came across Indiana and much of America in the last week.  Temperatures in the hundreds were the norm, and the old men on the benches in town certainly weren't the only ones talking about the weather!

In these tough economic times, for many, it is hard to find the money to pay for air conditioning....if they have any.  You don't have to look far, and maybe you and your family, have fallen on tough times. 

I know we have. 

I have been looking more and more at trading, instead of spending.  Trading, you say?  Yes, what skills do you or you husband, (don't forget the kids?) have, that others may benefit from?  What are you looking for?

Here are some examples of some trading we've done, and are looking for:

-For a long time, I traded dehydrated buckwheat groats for homemade crackers or bread--I had a dehydrator, and my friend didn't.  My friend made the best homemade bread.  A win-win situation.

-Another family and ours have been trading doing each other's chores while our families' are on vacation.  In this way, we don't have to pay anyone to board our dogs, our animals are well cared for, and we know that our gardens will still be alive when we come home! Plus, they have a pool that we are allowed to use while they are gone.  Oh, yes, that helped us beat the heat last week!

-My husband needed a computer because of work taking him on the road a few days a week.  We certainly didn't have the money for one, but a friend who used to be a computer programmer, literally built us one with parts he had at home.  Brilliant!  It's not  a new computer, but it certainly does the job.  My husband then looked at his vehicle, to see about a mechanical problem he was having.  One techie, and one who knows engines.....helping each other.  The money saved I'm sure was in the hundreds of dollars. 

-My daughter longs to take horse riding lessons, but as you may well know they can be very expensive.  She is looking into helping care for and assist the owner in caring for the horses, in trade for lessons.  My daughter will really be learning how much it takes to care for the animals, which is an important lesson in responsibility.  Not to mention some sweat equity will be involved.  This seems even better to me, than in the past when I have paid for lessons.

-We also want to eat as nourishing a diet as possible in our home.  We believe it is worth every penny to buy as high quality of food as possible.  However; food costs are only rising.  We have been brainstorming ways to save on this as well.  We are considering a trade where we allow a friend who has cattle to graze them on some of our land, for free grass-fed meat.  We also are looking to trade our free-range eggs for some organic produce, as well. 

-Do you have an overabundance of a certain type of produce in your garden?  Maybe you could trade your pickling cukes for someones tomatoes.  You never know what might have grown well in your neighbor's garden, but met it's fate in yours. 

Helpful hints:

• Make a list of skills you or your family have.  Sewing, baking, meal planning, car repair, painting, lawn mowing, computer technology, photography, caring for children, gardening, just to name a few.
• Get the word out.  Ask, ask, ask.  Let friends, family and neighbors know your'e looking to trade skills.  We even saw the ad looking for horse help on craigslist.com.
• Know what you are looking for.  Want to take co-op homeschool classes, but can't afford them?  Maybe you can teach a class in turn for your children taking some classes.  Need some sewing done?  Maybe an older woman in church would do so, for a ride to the grocery store when you go.

You never know what needs others have until you ask.  This is such a fun way to build relationships with others as well.  I encourage you to get creative and find ways to meet your families' needs, without spending much out of pocket!

 Blessings,

Joy~

{This post is a part of Monday Mania, Real Food Wednesday,Works for me Wednesday, Simple Lives Thursday, Pennywise Platter, Fight Back Friday, and Frugal Friday}

 

::It's just tradition:: {This moment}

 {Please indulge for words added to my moment this week...I just couldn't help it.}

These "babes" as papa always calls the girls in the family, were having a high time at grandma and papa's house.  You see, it's just tradition.

 

Grandma has the most extensive collection of dress-up clothes I have ever seen in my life.

But then again, grandma has six grand-daughters who all love to wear them. 

My older girls now do a sophisticated version of dress-up.  More like modeling, you might say.  But, in vintage wedding dresses and such. 

They see grandma's hangars bulging full of all kinds of dresses.  Every color and fabric a girl could imagine. All six of the girls seem to decide at once to go get dressed up in a flurry.  Twelve hands all grabbing off the hangars, and buttoning and zipping up.  In a moment's notice, they can turn into a 70's bride, or look like they are just going for a ride with Gilbert at Green Gables.  

Oh, and don't forget the jewelry box which is spilling over with necklaces, clip-on earrings, and brooches.  Every respectable girl needs a  brooch!

And, the shoes!  Oh, my.  Really, I don't know if the girls always care about color--it's more the height of the heel, and how much noise it makes when they walk onto grandma's wooden floor to show any and all the latest ensemble chosen.  None of them are on the tall side, so every inch added to the heels makes them feel like a supermodel.

We just stand back and watch their personalities shine through, as the camera starts clicking.  Each of them lost in a fairy tale, if only for a short time. 

 

  Anne Shirley: Don't you ever imagine things differently than what they are?

 Marila Cuthbert: No.

Anne Shirley: Oh Marilla, how much you miss.

{Inspired by Soulemama; with words on this day}

How being poor made us rich. Part 1.

 

{The innocence of our babe's smile, relieves the stresses of everyday life.}

There was a time when we had plenty.  It hasn't always been this way.  Being without money....or at least very much, I mean. I've been into health for a while, and I recall buying alot of my groceries at Whole Foods. I don't buy ANYTHING there now. 

I recall when I didn't even care about a budget.

Ha!

Those days are long gone. (Though we still eat very healthy foods.)

But, you want to know the truth of the matter?  I got what I wanted.  Are you crazy, lady, might be your first thought.  Having to sacrifice that wonderful face cream that made your cheeks feel like velvet and only cost an arm and a leg?  Or, what about having to turn down renewing that magazine subscription that you've always loved?  The one that made you do a little dance at the mailbox when it arrived?

Yep.  That's about where I'm at.  But, I kinda did ask for it.

You see, it's like this.  We have some friends that are very dear to us.  You know the kind I mean.  The kind of friends who would give you the shirt off their back if you needed it.  The kind that you know are praying for you--not just saying that they are.  The friends you laugh and cry with. 

This family had their share of good times, but for a while things were pretty bleak.  The father contracted Lyme's disease, and couldn't work as much as before.  Money got tight--than it got even tighter. 

We walked through this valley with then, and watched God at work.

It. was. amazing.

Many people I'm sure were praying for them (including us), and they saw answers.  They needed God desperately.  When food was running out, it was provided.  Little things and big things were happening, and they had no doubt who was their provider. 

My friend would call me and say "Guess what God did this time?", and we would rejoice together.  Money coming in just when an extra bill they couldn't pay on their own was due.  Food was brought over, when the people giving, didn't even know they were in want.

I have to say, I was jealous for my family.

Jealous for that is our God too, and we weren't seeing Him move in that way.

We had all our needs met by a paycheck, right?  I mean, we KNOW as Christians that God is the ultimate provider....but I wanted to REALLY KNOW.  To have my children and my husband and I pray....then step back and see how God works. 

Sometimes it seems, when all is going well, and the paychecks are coming in....well, we're not quite as desperate for God.  We don't quite need Him, like we would if we would be going without, unless He moves. 

Well, I tell you what.

We're there.  Rough cheeks and all.

Don't let me fool you---this ain't easy.  In fact, it can seem downright impossible at times to figure it out in my mind.  We've had to totally turn around our thinking.  But you know what, in some ways, I am soooooo thankful we are where we are.

Why?  Glad you asked.

1. We are desperate for God's help.

We are not dependant in and of ourselves for our daily bread, or anything else we have.  We know that if it's in His will, he will provide what we need.  We have learned many lessons about money, and have had many a conversation with our children about it as well. We are seeking Him with all our hearts, and expecting to find Him. 

Jeremiah 29:13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

2.  Our children are learning the value of things.

No, they are far from perfect, (believe me),....though I do think they are some pretty awesome kids.  Because we share about our budget with them, and are very open with them, they know what we have and what we don't.  They don't beg for the latest game or gadget, or to go out to eat all the time.  They accept willingly what we choose to give, and are very thankful for what is received. 

We deeply believe that if a child never has to go without, it can develop an attitude of "I deserve that".  We believe "Work hard and play hard", is a great motto.  We all pinch in and work together, and then bask in the fruit of our labors, and have a lot of fun together.

For instance, we need to come up with quite a chunk of money to buy homeschool curriculum for the coming year for three of the kids.  Well, one way we will earn some of the money is by having a rummage sale. 

The kids have been furiously working the last couple of days cleaning out closets, and marking items to sell.  They will work hard, and reap the benefits of a great curriculum they enjoy, (and probably be taken out for ice cream cones to celebrate after the sale, as well.)

To be continued.......

{This post is a part of Works for me Wednesday}